Mahasweta Gogoi- Mid Term Assignment

I. Prompt: Line Breaks

1.

Minibars

She begins

by placing her weight

gently

onto mine, the warmth

the quiverings 

at the unfolding of things,

at

    the 

       immediacy-

One glance of approval

and

the grip tightens,

the teeth sink in,

breasts cupped 

and squeezed-

the left nipple squirming

between the index and the middle, far

from wanting to be free

while the insides with a voice of their own

a c h e 

for that

first

touch.

You,

looking up

for the first

time since it all began, owning

the moans

like a first time performer at a gig,

    like a

         snake

         dancing

    over it's

           prey,

softening

the touch

that moves

d

o

w

n

w

a

r

d

s

And I

...as I collect

my breath, before 

the grazing waves hit

and insides convulse to the tightening breaths

and slippery squeals;

to liquoured kisses

and arched backs,

thrusted fingers 
and muffled moans-

what a messy maiden story 
untold no more!

Note:

(The context  of the poem although not important in terms of the enjambments used is of that of the recent decriminalization of homosexual sex by the Supreme Court of India.)

The above poem attempts to use the technique of lineation to bring out meaning, particularly to amplify the elements of syntax, speed and sense out of Wagner’s six S’s. In the first stanza, the use of enjambment after ‘She begins’ and ‘weight’ is to engage the readers by instilling certain ambiguity, making the them ask the questions of ‘begins what?’ and ‘weight over what’ in an attempt to serve as a good hook, especially important in the beginning of the poem. Moreover, the line break after the word ‘weight’ also adds to the element of sense while also mimicking the word ‘weight’ itself for the enjambment adds weight to the word by breaking the sentence there. The stanza then bears three more enjambments after ‘warmth’, ‘gently’ and “quiverings’ to add to the element of sense. The last few enjambments that sums up the stanza is a more deliberate one to bring out the element of sense- the unsettling feeling of urgency. While the lineation is an unusual one that might throw the reader off, it also bears a pattern suggesting while the feeling is unsettling, it is also something the narrator wants. The ascending incline pattern that is sort of created on the page is an attempt to mimic the build up of the immediacy that the narrator talks about in the poem.

In the second stanza, the enjambment employed after the word ‘approval’ is an attempt to highlight the significance of the act i.e. the importance of consent in intercourse while also bringing out the element of surprise by the use of yet another break after the word “and” (approval// and//) mimicking the action of sudden tightening of the grip  thereafter. Enjambments in the stanza, have also been used after ‘tightens’, ‘sank’, ‘cupped’, ‘squeezed’ and ‘squirming’ to bring out the element of sense again.

While the above mentioned uses of enjambments can be said to be more conventional, some enjambments employed in the poem are slightly different with words like ‘ache’, ‘downwards’ that attempt to mimic the actions of aching and moving downwards. Similar uses of line breaks are also used to bring out the image of a snake dancing. The poem also uses enjambments to bring out the several unusual word choices in it, such as “slippery squeals”, “liquoured kisses” etc.

Lastly and most importantly, enjambment in the poem has been used to mimic element of speed- the pace of the act of the intercourse itself in a way. To elaborate, the first stanza has a slower pace for the action is just beginning- “she begins” which is almost paradoxical to the feeling of urgency inside the narrator “at// the// immediacy” which is broken down into different lines to form an incline or a staircase. Although slightly far-fetched, it is to mimic the lack of breath that is associated in both coitus and climbing an incline. The enjambment ensures that the speed continues to be slow despite the urgency until the second stanza after the word “approval” after which the poem picks up speed ensured through the lack of any employment of end-stops. Similar use of enjambments that follows attempts to mimic this rhythm of the act, slowing down at “a c h e ” and picking up pace again in the last stanza with the lack of any end-stops. I have also used ellipses (…) to further add to the action of collecting breath “…and as I collect// my breath” to add to this rhythm.

2.

 Can you see?

Can you see?

the lids

that lie blended

underneath your feet?

Can you see,

as you

rap tap

across the street?

Can he see?

the graves

that grow faster than the weeds around.

Can he see,

As he

sits in his chair

cradling

his new choo choo bullet toy,

while his bride-broom

collects dust by his side?

If they did

they would see,

we live

to die,

and die

to leave.

Note:

The use of the technique of lineation has been used in the poem to bring out the elements of syntax and sense of Wagner’s six S. In the poem, the repetition employed is followed by the use of enjambments to bring out the essence of the poem by creating an emphasis. The enjambment also adds ambiguity that makes the reader wonder ‘see what?’ thereby drawing their attention. It is also to amplify the element of sense- of seeing or noticing so as to draw attention to the ardent need for the act to happen. This use of enjambment to hold the ambiguity in the poem can be seen throughout the poem. Enjambment in the poem is also employed to highlight sounds as seen after the phrase “rap tap”.

The line breakups in the poem are done keeping in mind the word choice- to draw attention to unusual word pairings such as “bride-broom”. Most importantly the enjambments are employed so as to add weight to certain words such as ‘graves’, ‘die’ and ‘live’ to draw the reader’s attention towards the gravity of these words as they are forced to pause with each line break. Lastly, enjambment has also been used to draw attention towards the ‘him’ and the ‘you’ (in the fifth line of both stanzas one and two), highlighting their significance in the narrator’s sufferings.

II. Prompt: Visual illustration for my poem ‘Can you see?’ 

(Closeups of the above illustration)

1.

2.

3.

III. Prompt- A visual narrative of my commute to the university.