Ways Of Reading- Mid-term Assignment- Prachi Behrani
A. MYTHOLOGICAL CHARACTER
1. (As per Hindu mythology, Ahalya was the wife of the sage Gautama Maharishi. It is believed that she was seduced by Indra (the king of gods) who came disguised as her husband to fulfil his physical desires, she otherwise wouldn’t have agreed to. She was eventually cursed by her husband for infidelity and turned into a stone for sixty thousand years. If she knew of the disguise or not, is still a question for many.)
AHALYA
Created to live
As fragile, and as fragrant as a flower.
Cursed to live
As stern, and as stoic as a stone.
They said, I betrayed him
My sagely husband
For the God of heavens, my lover
In my husband's skin.
What did really happen
You'll ask me
But I, won't ever
Tell you.
I won't tell you
If you ever ask.
Wouldn't tell
If I knew who he was
Wouldn't tell if
The fire burnt as warm.
You'll call me
A sinner, if I
Agree to my crime
A victim, if I don't.
And you won't tolerate it
If I refuse to answer.
For no woman ever, shied away
If her heart was chaste.
If Sita could
Walk through fire
Could I not
Confess of its presence?
Filth or cleanliness
Purity or impurity
Honour or dishonour
I refuse to choose.
For, if you question
And ever doubt the truth
Don't you already
Have sides chosen?
Don’t you already
Question my morals?
And doubt my answers?
So, why ask?
....
2. (As per Hindu Mythology, once while prince Ila went hunting and inadvertently entered a forest, sacred to goddess Parvati. Only females were allowed in this area. Even Shiva had to change his form to enter it. Moreover, if a man ever entered it, he was cursed to turn into a woman. Thus, the curse fell upon Ila. When he requested the God for help, goddess Parvati, reduced the curse, which allowed him to switch genders every month, alternatively)
ILA
Well, years ago.
I made a little mistake.
Lost in the hunt for my prey
I accidentally (and I swear, accidentally)
Passed through, the forest of reeds
And put my sex at stake.
For Sharavana, to Shakti, was sacred
And how could any other man
Except the Destroyer
Dare to witness it.
The sex of a man, TRAPPED
In the body of a woman.
I was cursed
(Like many of you today)
I begged and begged and begged
For pardon and reversal
For you see, transitions like this
Weren't easy back then.
Well, we negotiated
For a month I could be Sudyumna
But the next, with no memory
Turn into Ila.
And the cycle repeated.
I had periods one month
And had to hide
Untimely erections the other.
I could have
Long curls now and
Switch to spikes in 30 days
Like most of you can't.
I could flirt with men
Or spend nights with women
I could entice with fluttering eyelashes
Or pee while I stood.
I could use
The ladies coach
And could walk around shirtless
Without a million stares.
I could have my cake
And eat it too
But all this
Had to be done, alternatively.
They say it was a curse.
But was it?
....
B. LINE-BREAKS
3. I Dreamt
Last night I dreamt
Of you,
Probably.
I remember not
The way your touch felt
Against my skin.
But I'm sure I felt
Your heart beat
Right next to mine.
I can't recall
Any words
Your lips said.
My memory fails me
Everytime
I try to envision you.
But the moment I
Woke up,
I woke up,
With a faint memory
Of you.
(Line breaks help the formation of this poem, in terms of sense, surprise and space. In the first stanza, after reading the first line, one might think, that the poem is about a dream, which could be about anything. The second like creates the sense of ‘who’ the dream was about. The third line, adds a surprising element of probability. As if one isn’t sure if the dream was about the person being mentioned, or if it was a dream at all or not. In the coming stanzas, the line breaks help to give a sense of space, a pause, which makes one think. For instance, one doesn’t just remember how the touch felt, but also, how the touch felt next to one’s skin. ‘I’ can’t just recall any words, but specifically words said by their lips, and so on. The break between I and woke up in the first stanza, is to highlight the act of being awake, and not just rising from sleep. )
....
4.Winters
Maybe
It was
The cold air brushing
Against my cheek-
Could be-
The dried leaves
That lay
Under my feet.
It was probably
The fog that held
My hand.
Perhaps
The snowflakes that bit
My lip.
The days which
Froze - the nights chilly.
Whatever it was
Seemed like the winters
Were in love,
With the idea of
me.
(The poem begins, with a lack of surety, the line break after “maybe” creates a sense of mystery, and highlights the lack of a firm belief.
I’ve used enjambment to form multiple meanings in this poem. “Could be”, could be an affirmative reply to the previous sentence, or another sprouting doubt for the next thought.
In the next stanza too, there is a duality of sense. It could be the fog that ‘held’ in sense of – lingered, or the fog that protectively held the hand. The next thought could mean that the snowflakes were biting cold, or the snowflakes, that like a lover bit ‘my’ lip. The days could be freezing, and the nights could be chilly, or it could be the days which froze to such an extent, that they made the nights chilly. Likewise, in the last stanza, the winters weren’t just in love, they were in love with a particular entity- ‘me’.)
....
C.REPETITION
5. Voices
The voices in my head
Are blinding.
I hear screams
And mostly, mine.
I tell myself
To breathe faster and faster and faster
But the breaths
Get too fast. And too short.
I pace across the room
But my legs
Feel like rubber
And I fall.
"Stop Thinking" "Stop Thinking" "Stop Thinking"
I tell myself
But the voices
Never stop.
I don't shiver
But it feels like I do.
I don't yell
But it feels like I do.
At times I cry
But I don't even know why.
I tell myself, I'm stupid
I tell myself, I'm strong.
I say hush.
It's all going to be okay.
Make a fist, smile
And you'd look fine.
A million thoughts
A zillion words.
A lot of what ifs
And, deeper breaths.
The voices, don't shut up.
I beg them to.
They grow louder, and louder.
And louder. And louder. AND LOUDER!
The people I tell
Say, it's a phase.
That it is just a phase.
I wish it is.
....
6. You Don't Have To
You don't have to
Do it,
If you
Don't want to.
Don't have to
Pick up every
Call every time
They might need you.
You don't have to
Build them up
When you, yourself
Are breaking.
Don't have to
Mend a broken heart
When yours
Is shattering to pieces.
You don't have to
Make sure that
They’re sleeping sound
By staying up all night.
Don't have to
Sing a song of love
To comfort them
When your throat hurts.
You don’t have to
Create peace for
Their minds
If it distorts yours.
Don’t have to
Go to a party
If you want to
Watch a movie at home.
You don't have to
Visit a million places
If you’d rather
Be in bed asleep.
Don’t have to
Do their work
When yours,
Is incomplete
Don't have to
Do the big things
Don't have to
Do the little ones.
You don't have to
Do it,
If you,
Don't want to.
You don't HAVE TO
You DON’T have to
YOU don't have to.
1. (As per Hindu mythology, Ahalya was the wife of the sage Gautama Maharishi. It is believed that she was seduced by Indra (the king of gods) who came disguised as her husband to fulfil his physical desires, she otherwise wouldn’t have agreed to. She was eventually cursed by her husband for infidelity and turned into a stone for sixty thousand years. If she knew of the disguise or not, is still a question for many.)
AHALYA
Created to live
As fragile, and as fragrant as a flower.
Cursed to live
As stern, and as stoic as a stone.
They said, I betrayed him
My sagely husband
For the God of heavens, my lover
In my husband's skin.
What did really happen
You'll ask me
But I, won't ever
Tell you.
I won't tell you
If you ever ask.
Wouldn't tell
If I knew who he was
Wouldn't tell if
The fire burnt as warm.
You'll call me
A sinner, if I
Agree to my crime
A victim, if I don't.
And you won't tolerate it
If I refuse to answer.
For no woman ever, shied away
If her heart was chaste.
If Sita could
Walk through fire
Could I not
Confess of its presence?
Filth or cleanliness
Purity or impurity
Honour or dishonour
I refuse to choose.
For, if you question
And ever doubt the truth
Don't you already
Have sides chosen?
Don’t you already
Question my morals?
And doubt my answers?
So, why ask?
....
2. (As per Hindu Mythology, once while prince Ila went hunting and inadvertently entered a forest, sacred to goddess Parvati. Only females were allowed in this area. Even Shiva had to change his form to enter it. Moreover, if a man ever entered it, he was cursed to turn into a woman. Thus, the curse fell upon Ila. When he requested the God for help, goddess Parvati, reduced the curse, which allowed him to switch genders every month, alternatively)
ILA
Well, years ago.
I made a little mistake.
Lost in the hunt for my prey
I accidentally (and I swear, accidentally)
Passed through, the forest of reeds
And put my sex at stake.
For Sharavana, to Shakti, was sacred
And how could any other man
Except the Destroyer
Dare to witness it.
The sex of a man, TRAPPED
In the body of a woman.
I was cursed
(Like many of you today)
I begged and begged and begged
For pardon and reversal
For you see, transitions like this
Weren't easy back then.
Well, we negotiated
For a month I could be Sudyumna
But the next, with no memory
Turn into Ila.
And the cycle repeated.
I had periods one month
And had to hide
Untimely erections the other.
I could have
Long curls now and
Switch to spikes in 30 days
Like most of you can't.
I could flirt with men
Or spend nights with women
I could entice with fluttering eyelashes
Or pee while I stood.
I could use
The ladies coach
And could walk around shirtless
Without a million stares.
I could have my cake
And eat it too
But all this
Had to be done, alternatively.
They say it was a curse.
But was it?
....
B. LINE-BREAKS
3. I Dreamt
Last night I dreamt
Of you,
Probably.
I remember not
The way your touch felt
Against my skin.
But I'm sure I felt
Your heart beat
Right next to mine.
I can't recall
Any words
Your lips said.
My memory fails me
Everytime
I try to envision you.
But the moment I
Woke up,
I woke up,
With a faint memory
Of you.
(Line breaks help the formation of this poem, in terms of sense, surprise and space. In the first stanza, after reading the first line, one might think, that the poem is about a dream, which could be about anything. The second like creates the sense of ‘who’ the dream was about. The third line, adds a surprising element of probability. As if one isn’t sure if the dream was about the person being mentioned, or if it was a dream at all or not. In the coming stanzas, the line breaks help to give a sense of space, a pause, which makes one think. For instance, one doesn’t just remember how the touch felt, but also, how the touch felt next to one’s skin. ‘I’ can’t just recall any words, but specifically words said by their lips, and so on. The break between I and woke up in the first stanza, is to highlight the act of being awake, and not just rising from sleep. )
....
4.Winters
Maybe
It was
The cold air brushing
Against my cheek-
Could be-
The dried leaves
That lay
Under my feet.
It was probably
The fog that held
My hand.
Perhaps
The snowflakes that bit
My lip.
The days which
Froze - the nights chilly.
Whatever it was
Seemed like the winters
Were in love,
With the idea of
me.
(The poem begins, with a lack of surety, the line break after “maybe” creates a sense of mystery, and highlights the lack of a firm belief.
I’ve used enjambment to form multiple meanings in this poem. “Could be”, could be an affirmative reply to the previous sentence, or another sprouting doubt for the next thought.
In the next stanza too, there is a duality of sense. It could be the fog that ‘held’ in sense of – lingered, or the fog that protectively held the hand. The next thought could mean that the snowflakes were biting cold, or the snowflakes, that like a lover bit ‘my’ lip. The days could be freezing, and the nights could be chilly, or it could be the days which froze to such an extent, that they made the nights chilly. Likewise, in the last stanza, the winters weren’t just in love, they were in love with a particular entity- ‘me’.)
....
C.REPETITION
5. Voices
The voices in my head
Are blinding.
I hear screams
And mostly, mine.
I tell myself
To breathe faster and faster and faster
But the breaths
Get too fast. And too short.
I pace across the room
But my legs
Feel like rubber
And I fall.
"Stop Thinking" "Stop Thinking" "Stop Thinking"
I tell myself
But the voices
Never stop.
I don't shiver
But it feels like I do.
I don't yell
But it feels like I do.
At times I cry
But I don't even know why.
I tell myself, I'm stupid
I tell myself, I'm strong.
I say hush.
It's all going to be okay.
Make a fist, smile
And you'd look fine.
A million thoughts
A zillion words.
A lot of what ifs
And, deeper breaths.
The voices, don't shut up.
I beg them to.
They grow louder, and louder.
And louder. And louder. AND LOUDER!
The people I tell
Say, it's a phase.
That it is just a phase.
I wish it is.
....
6. You Don't Have To
You don't have to
Do it,
If you
Don't want to.
Don't have to
Pick up every
Call every time
They might need you.
You don't have to
Build them up
When you, yourself
Are breaking.
Don't have to
Mend a broken heart
When yours
Is shattering to pieces.
You don't have to
Make sure that
They’re sleeping sound
By staying up all night.
Don't have to
Sing a song of love
To comfort them
When your throat hurts.
You don’t have to
Create peace for
Their minds
If it distorts yours.
Don’t have to
Go to a party
If you want to
Watch a movie at home.
You don't have to
Visit a million places
If you’d rather
Be in bed asleep.
Don’t have to
Do their work
When yours,
Is incomplete
Don't have to
Do the big things
Don't have to
Do the little ones.
You don't have to
Do it,
If you,
Don't want to.
You don't HAVE TO
You DON’T have to
YOU don't have to.
....
Hey! Your poem "I dreamt" is pretty relatable.
ReplyDeleteAlso your last two poem do show justified set of repetitions.
Although, while I read "Voices", I really felt it could go on and on and I'd still read it (genuinely).
And the concept in your mythological poem "Ila" of entrapment and experiences seem to stand out but could have been further enhanced. Please on working on that one. 🙈 Nice work ❤️
The poem "You Don't have to" is the best one according to me. The way it ends highlight the essence of the poem. Those last three lines, capturing different styles of saying yet conveying same meaning is superb. Also I don't know if it was deliberate or not but if you read the last stanza with only capital words, diagonally, from bottom to top, it says YOU DON'T HAVE TO, which is fantastic!
ReplyDeleteIn a nutshell, great efforts! :)
Great efforts in every poem. Personally, I found the last 2 poems relatable. Touched me deeply. And kudos to your creativity in Ila. The myth along with the touch of modernity is amazing. Great work! ❤️
ReplyDeletehey Prachi, i like the way you've written your poetry, all the poems are very beautiful but my favourite is 'voices'. It satnds out the most for me, and i guess the topic or theme of the poetry is so heart touching that i could relate to it. keep writing, your write awesome.
ReplyDeletePrachi, you write very well. The use of repetition in "Voices " was effective although I wished there were line breaks before "smile" and "phase".I felt it would have given more emphasis. I really love the poem "You don't have to".It is so relatable and honest. Loved it!
ReplyDeletei enjoyed most of your writing. i specially liked the poem winters
ReplyDeletethe poem "Voices" seems well with repetition and structured very well. the poem "Don't do it on the other hand seems a little off as it does not really bring an effect with the repeated phrase. it does not really do anything for the poem. AHALYA is a very powerful poem and well written. All the best.
ReplyDelete